It’s official: wolves now fear Adam Driver more than fire. Wildlife rangers, desperate to stop wolves from treating suburban cul-de-sacs like buffet lines, blasted audio from Marriage Story. That’s the film where Driver and Scarlett Johansson yell about IKEA shelves and emotional neglect for two hours.
Apparently, wolves hear this and think, “Nope, not getting involved in custody battles.” It’s unclear if this also works on bears, raccoons, or teenagers. One ranger reported a moose fled so fast it left its antlers behind. The next experiment? Playing Les Misérables. If Hugh Jackman can’t scare them off, we’re doomed.
Child, B. (2025, August 4). Audio of Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson arguments from Marriage Story used to scare off wolves in the US. The Guardian.
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